Maybe there is no grass
Lately I’ve been feeling so discouraged about all my involvements, but every time I’ve thought that my life sucked, something brings me back to reality. When I felt stressed from putting my all into a particular project and having it destroyed, someone suddenly asked me if I were going to the funeral of a girl I once knew, a girl the same age as my brother. When I felt rather devastated and then angry at someone’s unexpectedly hostile treatment of me, she got into an accident and I had to let go on my ungenerous feelings and feel sorry for her. (No, I did not make a voodoo doll of her and subject it to anything.) When I felt unbearably unwelcome in my own home and tried to escape through some TV, I ended up seeing East Is East (it’s a gritty movie about an interracial family in the ’70s). And tonight when I felt doomed to fail at everything I needed to get done, I came across the Status of Chinese People blog.
My point is… maybe there isn’t even any grass on the other side; maybe there isn’t even another side and life is its own reward. And for certain, life is preciously short, so why feel so worry over all the little things when my life really is good. The worse things that have happened to me lately is a lot of bad luck, a few scrapes and burns, a little unkind treatment from others. I have my health, my freedom and a really, really great fan ♥; all I need to get out of my troubles is tougher skin and a better attitude. …And to quit procrastinating and put up a stiff upper lip.
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